Things I learned today

You should pee before you get stressed out. This is not to infer that I peed my pants or anything, just that I was nervous and stressed out, and once I peed, I felt so much better.

It’s possible to throw a fork, and have it disappear into thin air. Apparently.

Christmas is all about gods in other worlds and centaurs. No it’s not.

Froggy hats are acceptable for all occasions.

There are stories out there in the void about my son’s closeted rage issues. I’ll just say this…do not hog the elevator!

Swallowing 7 pieces of gum (four of them on accident) does not count as a meal.

I can’t hear “Carol Of The Bells” too many times.

There are a lot of people I’d like to send a Christmas card to.

I have always wondered what instrument makes the doorbell sound. I still don’t know what it’s called, but I do know what it looks like.

Furnaces are important, and it’s a special kind of fear when yours stops working. Also, it’s cold.

My daughter will, very likely, never eat Thanksgiving dinner again. Or dessert.

Origami is Spanish for “goose”. No it’s not.

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