A Rant About Alphabetizing

BEWARE: This is a rant. A rant that my family doesn’t want to hear about. (Really. Everyone left the room.) So you get to read about it… You’re welcome.

I just want to say that GO comes before GOAL, GOD, GODDESS, GOOD, GOSH, and ALL OTHER WORDS that have G-O at the beginning.

So, hulu…GET IT RIGHT! When I’m looking up “Go On”, to watch the latest episode, I’m not even going to think to look it up as GOON. I’m going to look up GO, and when I don’t find GO, I’m going to stop looking, and I’m going to be frustrated.
It’s called alphabetizing. It’s something that people do to make it easier to look things up. It is easy to do. You don’t even have to be smart to do it, you just have to know the alphabet. That means that my son could have done it when he was three. If you don’t know the alphabet, then you should let someone else do the job. If you’re relying solely on a computer to do it for you, then you’re an idiot. Never trust the machines, that’s how they will take over.

Related: The person who put ‘go on’ into the computer as ‘goon’, should be fired.

UGH! It’s these little things that should be so easy to do that make me crazy. Because they are easy.

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Brain Dump Friday – It Took Me All Day To Get This Done, And I was Still Too Late

Yay! My favorite day of the week. The day when I’m not afraid to let you in. Well, I am, but I don’t admit it. I still unlock the door. Sometimes I wish I were from somewhere else. Kingman, Arizona is not an exciting place. Not that I have to be from somewhere exciting, but if I could have an accent, that would be great. Maybe I’ll just adopt one. Slowly, so no one thinks I’m going crazy, but in a year, maybe I’ll be from England, or…nope, it would have to be England. That’s the only one I’m even remotely good at. Irish would be cool. I’ve got a little bit of Scottish, but I can only say about three sentences…them I’m out. Australian would be great, but I slip into British. I can say one sentence in Indian. India, Indian, not American Indian. What would that sound like? I hope I’m not slipping into some sort of racist area. Obviously I didn’t pay attention when I was a kid… When my Dad was the manager of a business in Kingman, we did lots of business with American Indians. So…British, then. Someone once told me that I sound like I’m from Iowa. I wonder what that means. It probably means I say things like, “I seen…”, and “have you ate yet?”, and “supposably” (sorry Barry), and other grammatical horrors like that. I said something once to Barry and it sounded like I was taking on a Minnesota tone, so I laughed it off, and said, “Oh, my Minnesota is coming out”. He said to me, “You’re not from Minnesota. You’ve only been there three times, you don’t have any Minnesota in you”. He’s right, but it’s there, and sometimes it rears its very ugly head. All my rings are too big. They just come right off my fingers. That means no more hands in my pockets. Actually, I don’t really put my hands in my pockets…unless I have to, but not for random reasons. That sounds crazy. Who puts their hands in their pockets for no reason? I think it’s funny when truly geeky people talk in whatever code it is that they do, and then they expect everyone to understand what they’re saying. Like it’s not gibberish. Does anyone have a big secret? I can keep it. I hate not knowing anything, and trust me when I say, I know a lot less than you think. I promise not to tell. No one’s going to tell me anything…I just thought I’d throw it out there and try. I would also like to solve a mystery. There is a lot of 80’s hair out there. Still. That’s a mystery in itself. All I have to say to that is STOP. IT. NOW. I wonder sometimes what it’s like to have a secret buried in your psyche. Sometimes I wonder if I have one. Probably not. That would be exciting…and like I said, Kingman, Arizona is not an exciting place. It can be assumed, then, that nothing exciting can come from there. That is all.

Brain Dump Friday

I am at Starbucks again…stealing internet and drinking coffee…like a boss. My son would like that typed that “like a boss” part. I am stuck in a corner. This place is so full. I’d try to find somewhere else to go, but this is my last day working in Ames, and I don’t have much time. Besides, my gift card is for Starbucks. Peppermint Mocha. Yummy! I am stuck in a corner, and there are people all around me, which means that I’m going to have to fight my way out of here in about 45 minutes. I’m feeling quite claustrophobic. I did not know that would had an “au” in it. Awesome! Thanks Apple for making me look smart. I actually think I did know about the “au”, but I wouldn’t have spelled it that way. There’s an old man sitting a few tables away and he keeps looking at me and winking. I think it’s just the way he does things. I don’t think he’s intentionally winking at me. I keep thinking it’s December. I don’t know why I’m a month ahead. Maybe I just want this horrible, stupid year over with. That’s probably it. The Old Man is talking about how he’d never move to California. He said he likes the winters here, and he doesn’t want to live near crazy, out-of-control people. I have news for him. The weather there is amazing…I’d take that over what’s coming any day. Also, there are people like that everywhere. Maybe his neighbors say that about him. He’s wearing a Vikings hoodie, so I can only imagine that they do. He also just bashed the Chargers. If he wants to avoid crazy, then he better shut up! There’s a man in here who has such stiff, straight posture that I don’t think he bends at all. I wonder how he drives. I’d like to see his car. He just left, but I can’t see it. I got up. He drives a Jeep. I love Jeeps. I have officially not lived in California for 15 years, now. Weird. I think that’s long enough to make me an official “Midwesterner”. I dreamt last night about making Thanksgiving Dinner. I love Thanksgiving Dinner. I think it’s my favorite dinner of the year. Maybe even more than all-you-can-eat-shrimp at Red Lobster. I missed that this year. It would have undone a lot of my progress, though. That would have been bad. Old Man just stood up. Wow. A Vikings hoodie and skinny jeans. I think I can hear trendy kids all over the world weeping. I have a lot to do, and only 50 minutes of internet for the day. Plus, I think these BDF’s have been getting too long. That is all.

Brain Dump Friday

I can not remember if I took my medicine this morning. I always roll out of bed and take it before I do anything else…that way I know I did it. This morning I was in a sleep and Irritation-induced haze, and I cannot remember. I can’t take it now because if I already took it, that would be bad. 40mg of Adderall running through me would probably not be a good thing. I was irritated because I was awakened an hour before the time necessary to take the kids to school. I was then informed that I said “just last night” that I need about an hour in the morning to wake up before I’m ready for humanity, so this person thought they should get me up early. I growled something back at them, and then heard them mumble as they walked down the hall, “Maybe I should’ve gotten you up earlier”. At the time that was not funny. Now I see how this person, this wonderful, giving, awesome human being, could only be my kid. I’m not a morning person. (reason #742 why we don’t have a dog) Our home has a warm side and a cool side. The cool side is where I sleep. The warm side is where I work. If only I could remember that when I get up. Every morning I get dressed on the cool side. Sweats, tank top, sweatshirt, socks, slippers. I then go down and across the hall where I proceed to take off slippers, socks, sweatshirt, and then eventually go change into my capri yoga pants. Why does this happen? Why can’t I remember? The temperature difference is significant. Probably a 5-8 degree difference. Crazy. I half-cleaned my office yesterday. (Maybe that sounds like I didn’t try or I did a bad job…I did a good job, I’m only half finished) I listen to a teleconference every Tuesday and Thursday for work, and while that was playing yesterday I started to clean my office. I cleaned off a shelf, moved books from one bookshelf to the other, moved work stuff to the closer bookshelf, cleaned out a bunch of drawers and filled them with things that would be useful rather than things that don’t have a place, and cleaned out my favorite chair (which contained three sweaters, a robe, a long-sleeved shirt, two sweatshirts, several pairs of socks, my old slippers, my newer slippers, and some Reese’s peanut butter ‘big cups’-which have yet to be eaten, even though I squealed when I found them). Did I mention that my office is warm? Today I must finish, otherwise my progress will be unnoticeable very soon. Is “synced” a word? It doesn’t sound right. I ask because I was going to mention that the last song I bought on iTunes was one that my son already bought on iTunes, and that if I had just synced my phone with the old computer, I would have had it for free. But I didn’t know if synced was a word, and I don’t want to sound like an idiot, so maybe I won’t mention it. You know how a word can sound right or wrong, and you just can’t tell. You could google it, but that’s a lot of work (no it’s not, I’m just that lazy today), so you ask the five people who read your blog, and most likely none of them will answer, but you’re going to forget about it now anyway because you asked the question, so it will be out of your mind. I thought about live-blogging what I found in my desk when I cleaned it out today, but that would be dull for you. There are some pretty interesting things in/on here though. Maybe I’ll do a “Cliffs Notes” version. Is it Cliffs Notes, or Cliff Notes? I always say it with the “s”. I think that’s right. Again…Google is hard. Who is Cliff? Why do we care about his notes? (They did help me out in high school, though) *ashamed* CONFESSION: American Literature…there was a book I didn’t read. I’ll say I did, because whomever this Cliff person is, he takes good notes…but I didn’t read it. Got a “B” on the paper I had to write. I read chunks of the book, because I needed some references that came out of the book (so it would seem as though I read it). It was one of those books that they say “everybody should read this book because it’s such a classic piece of American Literature”, but I still never read it. I should have just read the book…I’m pretty paranoid about certain things so, in order to not get caught using Cliffs Notes (I’ve decided I like the “s”), I read so much of the book that, in the end, it would’ve just made sense to read the whole book. Too bad they didn’t have audio books back then. I would have totally read every book in high school if there were audio versions. (If there were, don’t tell me…but I don’t think there were.) I started a sentence up there somewhere with “but”…I apologize. I mean, I do what I want, but I do know the rules, and that was an unnecessary thing to do. If I weren’t so lazy today, I’d go fix it. Instead, I’ll just type out all these words about it, which will take up more time, but then you’ll know that I know that I was wrong. More importantly, I’ll know that you know that I know I was wrong. Jessup bought me a donut this morning…isn’t he sweet? I think the Sleepytime tea most of us drank last night actually helped. Also…Jessup is in a musical this weekend, and I’m so excited! Bye Bye Birdie!!! YAY! Can you imagine how many cassette tapes it would have taken for an audio book? Maybe it’s not as many as I think, but you’d at least have had to have one of those case thing-y’s for it. How fun would that have been to haul around? You’d need a boom box to listen to the tapes, those giant head phones that they had back then (which have made some kind of strange, rapid reappearance, and it really only makes people look like they’re wearing earmuffs), a case of cassettes to listen to…and then a cell phone that was so big it had to go inside a briefcase…you’re hands would be full all the time. (I know there were Walkman’s back then…) Should I have put those two “ly” words together? Meh, I do what I want. I’m thirsty. That is all.

Brain Dump Friday

Today is Red Green Day at both the high school and middle school here in town. No, NOT the guy on PBS (I made that mistake, too-not really). Today is the day on which everyone is supposed to wear red and green. Is it because Christmas is coming? NO. Is it because of Boone Iowa’s rich, Spanish heritage? NO. (shocking) It’s because, at some point in our history, someone decided that those two colors should be the school colors. It really serves a dual-purpose…You can have lots of school spirit, and you can wear your school stuff to Christmas parties and you fit right in! Also…we are the Toreadors. Again…not sure why. Though I am leaning closer to the rich, Spanish heritage thing… I wonder what the official school dance is? Salsa? Maybe that’s the official condiment. Tango? Speaking of tango…the Pampered Chef “hot” color for the season is called Tangerine Tango, and it’s really pretty. I would have called it Coral – something – but I’m not a marketing genius… I can’t think of a dance that starts with “C”. I go to my acting gig job again next week. I’m so excited! I love that job. I had three cups of coffee at the bakery this morning and I’m actually shaking. That’s probably not a good thing. I hope it stops before…well, there’s not really a time today when I can’t be a little shaky, but I hope it stops soon. My fingers are going too fast, and I keep having to correct errors in this post. There’s a person for everyone – sometimes that person is five cats. I wish I could take pictures with my eyeballs. I see so many wonderful and beautiful things, and I can’t seem to capture them just like I see them. Of course, that would make me some sort of cyborg, but that would be one of my suggestions if I could ask God to change something about me. Camera in my eyeballs. Awesome. I would probably need a USB port. That would be a weird thing to have to explain. And then there’s the whole “I can’t get up from my computer right now because I’m charging” thing. Weird. What’s wrong with my brain? My office smells like bacon. I ate bacon flavored popcorn yesterday, and while it was not as impressive as I had hoped it would be (including a weird “filmy” feeling in my mouth), it was edible, and I ate it. Now the empty bag is in my office garbage and so my office smells like bacon. I wonder how long that will last? How long is too long to leave it in there? hmmm… I want to find a shirt that reads “I’m not responsible for grammatical errors before 8am”. Of course, then I would want there to be some gross grammatical error on the shirt, but I can’t think of one that would be funny. Maybe I should try designing the shirt before 8am. OH! Cha-Cha! That’s a dance that starts with “C”. Coral Cha-Cha doesn’t roll off your tongue like Tangerine Tango. Again…NOT a marketing genius. Would it hurt to walk around with bare feet if you lived in a house made of legos? I was just wondering… I think it would be kind of like the whole “bed of nails” thing. It hurts to sit on one nail. but I’ve sat on a chair made of nails before, and that didn’t hurt. Something about science and distribution. Have you ever had one of those moments that you just want to grab hold of and never let go? Someone says something or does something that just melts your heart, and you wish you had it on video and could replay it over and over again? I had one of those moments with Ainsley last Tuesday night. My daughter is just the sweetest girl, and she makes me grateful to be alive more often that I can say. My relationship with her is so, SO different than my relationship was with my mom, and I’m so thankful and blessed. Both of my kids are just the greatest gifts from God. If I were a cyborg, I probably wouldn’t have kids. That would be a devastation beyond what I can bear. I don’t want to be a cyborg. That is all.

Brain Dump Friday

I’ve had a lot to say this week, but no place to start. I need a place to start. The happiest and nicest thing I’ve heard all week was when I walked into a room unexpectedly (to the person in that room) and they said, “I was just thinking about you and your polka dot mixer. Really, not even ten minutes ago.”. What a delightful greeting! I think I’m going to tell people more often when I think about them. It’s nice to be thought of. I’m working on my book again, but only in my head. I named the main characters Mitch and Aimee. I couldn’t figure out why I chose those names, they just came to me, and I thought that was some sort of proof that I should write. You know, like a sign. It’s not a sign. It’s my subconscious. “Mitch and Amy” is a book I read in the third grade. Sigh. Someone asked me why I obsess over things. That’s like asking me why my hair is brown. I don’t like to think of it as “obsessing”. Instead, I like to think of it as “preparedness”. What if I do have a tumor in my right arm? Well, when the doctor says it’s nothing, that’s awesome. If the doctor says it’s a tumor, then I’m prepared. What if it’s a tracking device? I doubt anyone cares enough to want to know my every move, but in my head I’m quite awesome and popular, so…maybe. (I will say…they must be pretty bored) What if I wake up one day and every single hair on my head had turned gray overnight? Well, it probably won’t, but if it does, I won’t be shocked. You see, there’s a difference between prepared and obsessed. I prefer to think that I’m not crazy, so I call it prepared. (I do have a weird bump under the skin on the inside of my right wrist, and I’m really, really “prepared” about it) I will say this obsession, I mean preparation, skill that I have does actually prepare me for bad news. It’s that thing where everyone thinks I’m cool and collected and calm, when inside I’m totally freaking out, but outside I look unaffected. That’s preparation. It’s how the doctor can say words like “Your mom has cancer”, and I’m still able to function…you know, the walking and talking and remembering to breathe? I had thought of everything I could think of that he might say, and then when he said what he said, I was as ready as I could be for it. So, call it obsessed if you like, but I will keep doing it. It’s who I am. It’s how I deal with life. (And now I’ve done it too much with this topic) Probably the biggest pet peeve I have is license plate stickers. People who put them around the plate like some sort of collection. They all go in the same place. One on top of the last. I almost get turrets when I see that. I will, literally, yell out “Idiot!” at whomever has done this. Really, you need a new license plate. You’ve ruined this one. I love having Riesens on my desk. You know, the chocolate carmel candies in the brown wrappers? I giggle every time someone comes in and asks for one. And then I come up with an awesome reason…bahahahaha! It’s just a play on words, but I love it. Currently, I’m all out of Riesens. Maybe this means I can do anything I want with no need for justification. Yeah, let’s go with that. :/  I’ve been melancholy most of the week. Not sure exactly why. Probably mostly stress. (See what I did there? Two -LY words. Because I wanted to) I won’t get into all the things that are stressing me out…I just need to learn to let go again. I think the stress comes into play when I’m holding on too tightly. Regret is stressful. Frustration is stressful. Worry is stressful. I’ve been upset because things that mean something to me meant nothing to someone else, and they were left behind in order to “save” things that turn out to be nearly worthless. The things that were saved, were saved because they were thought to be so valuable. But really they’re not. Not to me. Not to anyone else. The things that were lost, that are now wasting away at the bottom of a landfill somewhere, those things were more valuable and meaningful to me than anything else. They are lost forever. I have had a hard time letting that go this week. This has made me sad. I have lost my focus this week. I will work very hard to get it back. I need it. I need to have a plan, and to have lists, and it’s when I lose sight of those things, the little steps that get me through the day, that my world turns gray. I need to stay in the bright and shiny places. Maybe it’s because there’s currently no dessert in our house. That must be it. That is all.

A little bit about me

I have other blogs, so I don’t quite know what I’m doing here, yet.

I’m all over the interwebz. I type what I want, and I say what I want, and sometimes I talk in my own language, or use words that I think are cuter than the actual words I should be saying. I don’t care if you don’t like it, but don’t take me for an idiot because I’m making a choice. It is my choice. I am a grammar nazi, but I add “ness” to lots of things, and I make up my own numbers, or use ridiculous exaggerations. I’m usually pretty careful what I put out there on Facebook, but I’m more like myself everywhere else.

Find me on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and several mobile places like Kik, Instagram, and Draw Something. Let me know you saw it here if we’re not already friends…that way I don’t delete the invite.

This will be funny (somewhat doubtful), thought-provoking (even more doubtful), and real (absolutely).

-Kicks

(someone gave me that nickname and I like it)