Yet another Carnival Cruise ship was stranded somewhere this week without hope of immediate rescue. I’m going to book a trip with them in about two years, because I figure by then…they will be paying people to give them a shot. Cheers is still really funny…after all these years (about 30). I’d really like a place like that to hang out…or even work. That would be a fun place to work. However, I’m afraid I’d be Diane… sigh. Cheers is one of the TV shows that shaped my humor…and my perspective on life. Sometimes I wonder if I got all the humor, though, and if I did, how did my parents let me watch that? I could watch whatever I wanted on TV (mostly), but I couldn’t listen to any music except for the Christian station until I was 13. Cheers probably did more damage than Journey or Kenny Rogers ever would have. Hindsight. I, on the other hand, was/am far more strict with what they watch rather than their music. I will say that neither of them likes anything too bad, music-wise, but still…I could definitely do without One Direction blaring at all hours when Ainsley is home. Jessup and I have the same taste. I love our plumber. I hope his wife doesn’t mind… Last Saturday morning the city sewer backed up into our basement and we went down there to find SIX INCHES of “poo water” in our basement. Needless to say…eeeeeeeeew! Time for a new house…this one is ruined. I am making a giant birthday card for someone today. It’s the first project that someone has called me up to ask me to do. I’m so excited! I think I’d like to start decorating the house. A little at a time. Find my style, and make this house mine. Ours. Whatever. Monday is my Anniversary. 18 years. My, has it gone by in a blink! People I love are just starting out…and I don’t feel that much older than they. (…than they are…?) Jessup brought home posters for his play…and they are SO great! I can’t wait for the play! I wish so badly that I’d been in high school plays…that I’d been allowed to even try out. That was a lifetime ago. Hopefully Jessup and Ainsley will look back on their school days with much fonder memories than I. I have great pieces of memories, but overall I’m glad it’s over, and you couldn’t pay me enough to go through most of it again. I have always thought that, if I could, I’d go back and change a couple of things, but one little change could ruin what I have now. And what I have now is pretty great. I like it. I want to keep it. It took three of us (Schulers) to figure out how old I am. Jessup finally got it. That’s really sad. He said, “But we’re all 5’s, so that means right now we’re all 7’s.” So I’m 37. Ainsley is the oddball. (All of that means that Barry, Jessup, and I were born in a year that ends in 5. Ainsley was born in a year that ended in 8, so she the only one who’s age doesn’t end in a 7). This only proves that Jessup loves being his age, Barry and I would rather forget our own ages, and at some point, Jessup became smarter than us. I think that point was several years ago, but I’m only going to count from last night. I wonder what it would feel like (or sound like) if our ears could fart. Sometimes we have ridiculous conversations in this house. It will be so quiet and sad when the kids are gone. Nothing fun will ever happen again. OK, it will…but it will be so different. Boring. Barry and I aren’t funny enough to live alone. That is all.
I admit freely that I thought, back in the day, that The Crash Test Dummies were a cool group. In fact, I bought tickets to a concert when Barry and I were dating, and we went. It was, in all honesty, a really fun time. They were playing at a very old theater in San Diego, and it was an enjoyable, intimate evening with soft lighting and good music.
I was talking to Jessup about Winter Jam this morning, and we were thinking back to a few years ago when we went to see Skillet and TobyMac in concert. I said, “You’re dad and I haven’t been to a concert since…gosh, I think The Crash Test Dummies was the last one.” He said, “Hmm, never heard of them.” I gasped in horror! I have failed him! I immediately gave him my phone and told him to look up “Mmm, Mmm, Mmm” (on iTunes) and give it a listen. I went on and on about how, when it was on the radio, I would turn it up so loud, and sing along with it. Then, as he found it, and he was listening, this look came across his face. It wasn’t a look of joy, or rapture, or even tolerance. It was a look of pity. Pity. From my 17-year old son. Suddenly the girl inside me waving her arms to be “cool” in the eyes of her offspring, shriveled up and hid in the corner. All the bonus points I’d gotten for Skillet…gone. How could he not love them? How could he give me that look? I expected a look of “Wow, Mom! I know you so much better now. I can see a little bit more of who you are, and that’s the person everyone should know. That person is amazing, and deep, and…”. I expected a sense of knowing, and I got a sense of ‘What’s wrong with you?’. My shame set in. What did I see in them? What could have been so great that I bought all their albums, and even got one autographed for Barry as a memento of that night so long ago?
And then I began to think some more about it.
We all go through seasons. This band, this crazy, strange group of people, helped me through something. They made me realize that all the weirdness I felt in high school and beyond, wasn’t so different from what anyone else felt. I may have seemed cool on the outside, I may have been friendly with a lot of people, but I had only a few good/close friends, and even fewer friends after high school.
So, this is what I decided to write about this morning – this weird little band of misfits that I once loved so dearly. They, along with several other bands I’m now too ashamed to mention, have seen me through hard times, and helped me to realize that I’m not so weird. I’m not so different. I’m not the misfit I think I am so much of the time. …Maybe.
That is all.
Tonight, I was asked a couple of awkward questions. Questions that none of you would want to answer. You don’t even want to know what they were. I was blunt. I stuttered, but I got through it. Because I’m the Momma. Also because I don’t want her to Google it. Unrelated: I love end of the world movies. I prefaced that because for reasons. (I said it that way on purpose-because I think it’s cute. I shouldn’t have to explain that to you, but I felt compelled. Probably so you don’t think I’m an idiot.) I’ve been making CD’s. Sort-of like mix-tapes, but updated to 2003. I’m really current like that. Anyway, I made a CD of my favorite songs for a friend of mine. It’s not all my favorite songs…just some of them. Only about 20. I finally got all my music transferred over to my MacBook. It only took 14 months for me to get around to it. It didn’t take too long. What I mean is…it took forever for me to get around to it…not too long to actually do it. I was actually surprised. It took hours to get the songs off the ancient laptop (a PC) that we have, and only about 45 minutes to get them all loaded onto my MacBook. I might list the songs I chose for her at the end of this. If I remember. I might not. I’m forgetful. I’m also watching an end of the world movie. I always wanted to witness a NASA shuttle take-off. It’s on my bucket list. It will probably never happen now. What a bummer. I should make a mix-CD of the Christmas songs I love. I have to apologize for how weird and dull this is. My husband makes the best pasta bake that I’ve ever tasted. We had it for supper. I love Morgan Freeman. He’s so fantastic. Have you ever laughed when you received bad news? I found a new color of nail polish. It’s from Essie. It’s called “She’s Pampered”. I thought that was cute. And appropriate. That is all. Except it’s not. A car got pulled over in front of our house earlier. It looked like some sort of wonky Christmas display for about 10 minutes. Now it’s over. That is all. Except for the list of songs. So, I guess that’s still not all. But, after the list of songs (and maybe a little explanation)…that. is. all. Really.
Be Still, My Soul-Shaun Barrowes/I Won’t Give Up-Jason Mraz/If I Should Fall Behind-Bruce Springsteen/In My Life-Johnny Cash/In The End-Linkin Park/Let It Be Me-Ray LaMontagne/Little Wonders-Rob Thomas/Love Land-Martina McBride/The Luckiest-Ben Folds/Meant To Live-Switchfoot/Monster-Skillet/Perfect-Alanis Morissette/Quiet My Heart-Brooke Barrettsmith/Seat Next To You-Bon Jovi/Stealing Kisses-Lori McKenna/Still-Tim McGraw/These Days-Foo Fighters/This Never Happened Before-Paul McCartney/Unknown-Chely Wright/Where I Stood-Missy Higgins/World Spins Madly On-The Weepies
The first song…maybe the greatest version of that song ever. It’s not on iTunes, I have no idea where I got it. A couple of the songs were covered by Faith Hill. I prefer the originals. I wrote a story several years ago based on one of the songs. Maybe I’ll put it here sometime. A couple of these songs hit so close to home for me that I can barely listen to them. A couple are almost biographical. Brooke Barrettsmith should have had a longer career. Shame on whomever did not make that happen. There are a lot (and I mean A LOT) of songs missing from this list. You can only fit so many on a CD. Maybe giving someone a flash drive of your favorite songs will become a thing. Until then…the list has to be short. Someday I might Brain Dump a list of my favorite songs. (…and you thought this was a long Brain Dump)
That. Really. Is. All.